that i'm better.

than you.

Something so stupid was driving me absolutely insane and my dear friend Ji cleared it all up for me in one simple sentence:

Ji: "I think we just want to know that we're better."

"Better" can signify so many things but in the greater (and general) sense of the word and for our purposes, this seemingly succinct, yet unfathomably complex statement will suffice to satisfy my inane obsession with aforementioned "stupid something."

The end.

Special thanks to Ji&Mon.

Cheers,

Cheryl

it's been a while.

i'm sorry for neglecting you :(

Work has been kicking. my. ass. so I haven't been able to pay any attention to this lil' ole blog but I came across something today that made me CRACK UP so I had to post it:

Product Review (submitted on May 9, 2011):

I lub flatz but dey always make my feet bleed cuz my feets is sensitive. Anywayz i done bought these Toms and omg guess what? my feet did not bled and i didnt git no blisterz either! Dey look so pretty 2! Nd so shiny. Oh and normally shoes be making my feet stank but not these! LUB THEM!

LOLOL I was on the Tom's website and saw this review.  I mean seriously, is this person for real?  I can't believe there are actually people who write like that.  I think I was more surprised because it was on the Tom's website.  I probably wouldn't have been as surprised if I saw it on like, the Apple Bottoms website. 

Today is Buddha's birthday.  I never even knew Buddha HAD a birthday but apparently, today is it!  And the only reason why I know and why I am celebrating is because the Hong Kong and Korea markets are closed today because it's a national holiday!  Which means a slow day at work for Cheryl!

On a totally different note, I have to lose weight.  That's all I can think about lately, damn.  But it's so hard, double damn.

Cheers,

Cheryl

quick thought #31.

forget chocolate, strawberry, banana, coffee and what else have you!

cereal milk is the best kind of milk.

damn you, momofuku milk bar.  makin' monies off the idea i had when i was like, seven.

speaking of damned momofuku.......

WHAT'S A GIRL GOTTA DO TO GET A CHIGGIN DINNER, GAW.

pardon my french, but, MOMOF*CKYOU.

quick thought #30.

i am having major retainer withdrawal.

i've been very good about wearing my retainers but i forgot them at home today and i am freaking out.

dear teeth, please stay straight.

kamsa.

they cut it down.

an old man's cry
at changes made
by the hands of urbanization.

Some people take the same route to ‘n fro every day from home to work, then back home. It’s a routine that they don’t like to break. Me, I like to switch it up. After a few days of taking the F train to 2nd Avenue LES then walking down Houston, cutting through the gas station, then walking the rest of 2nd Street down to my apartment, I decided I was feeling adventurous and instead of walking down Houston, I just took 2nd Street all. the. way. down. Call me daredevil, if you will.

As I rounded Ave B to head down to Ave C (yes, I live in ABCity; don’t judge – we like to think of ourselves as Loisaidas) I noticed an elderly slightly pudgy gentleman holding his hands up and looking helpless a few yards away from me. At first glance, I thought he was a homeless person, intoxicated and looking to disturb my quiet street, but my second glance later deemed me a judgmental fool.

I walked until I was just a few steps away from him and realized he was staring at this:

I looked at what seemed to be a freshly cut stump and remembered a tree (that my beloved pom-a-poo used to pee ‘n poo at) had once been there. Personally, I thought the street looked much cleaner without that withering sorry excuse for a “tree” cluttering it; a new complex was built at that same spot, so I imagine the contractors or owners had the trees cut down. As I turned to the gentleman, I realized he had tears in his eyes and was shaking his head, clearly upset by the loss. “They cut it down. Where’d it go? They cut it down. It was always there but they cut it down…Why would they do that?” I wanted to give him an answer, but in that instant, I felt as little as that stump and as barren as that street corner.

He wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t a homeless man. He wasn’t causing a ruckus. He was just upset at the loss of what to him, was a neighborhood trademark. A few people who walked passed us glanced at the stump and they too, nodded their heads in somber agreement with the man’s cries. People were clearly surprised and somewhat upset that the tree was gone. At that moment, I realized this tree, in a city where greenery is scant, was much loved by many locals and it’s sudden disappearance was not sitting well with them.

I’m glad I took a different route home that day. Such an unexpected encounter made me hit myself over the head twice in a matter of minutes. Who was I to assume this man was drunk and homeless? Who was I to bid good riddance to a tree I had only known for months? This experience was such an oddly profound moment for me, I just had to document it and attempt to put into words the emotions I felt at that moment.

I pass by that stump now and it reminds me not to judge, not to cut-down (or out) so easily, not to always take the path well-trodden, and most importantly, that sometimes, more is more.

Cheers,

Cheryl

a plan.

not ours, but His.

⁹ However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him— ¹⁰ these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit."

-1 Corinthians 2:9-10

I read the above verses countless times throughout my Christian life and meditated on the same last week.  It's crazy how the Bible really speaks to you..... God tells you all the right things at the right times, seriously.

They say your early to mid-20s are a crucial time of change, transition, and opportunity. You must make the right choices, meet the right people, etc.  I myself, am turning 24 in a little less than 4 months and much change is happening around me. Family-related changes, friends-related changes, myself-related changes, yikes! Every time I stress out about the decisions I make or about what my future holds, I stop and allow a minute to remind myself that really, only God knows and prayer is the only way to unfold His plan.

He really does have magical, wonderful, exciting things planned for those who love Him. It’s a struggle having faith knowing that these things may not be according to my personal plan, but I’m trusting in Him and trying to be patient. I see Him working in my life and when I think back on the changes going on right now, I realize how almighty He truly is; everything fits and makes sense.

I was never very good at waiting; I usually just DO then deal with the consequences later. I feel so geub-hae but I guess all good things take time.

Must pray more.

Cheers,

Cheryl

mommy's skills.

but i made 'em my own ;)

From time-to-time I make dinner for my roommates and/or my boyfriend.  It is usually pasta.  I've made a variety of pastas for the girls and each and every time it was bomb.  As in, "the."  More recently, I've made a variety of jjigaes and soojaebi and other random korean dishes for the manfriend and I shock and amaze myself at how delicious everything is! 

It's such a good feeling when people 'ooh' and 'aah' over food you've made and eat it maht-eet-gae (dunno how to say this in english...).  Last night, in celebration of my manfriend's H-1B visa being approved, I made vodka sauce with chicken, onions, and peppers over roasted garlic fettucine aaaaaand a major flavor explosion ensued in my mouth and that was that.

I've definitely taken after my mom's cooking skills and now I know why she loves to feed people the way she does.

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." -Virginia Woolf

Amen to that!

Cheers,

Cheryl

mirror, mirror, on the wall.

obsessed with my reflection.

I'm sure most girls are, but they don't readily admit it.  I've been noticing lately that I cannot pass by a reflective surface without glancing into it.  I think the image sans braces has something to do with it, but even before I got them chains off, I was always looking into mirrors every few minutes.  Especially when I knew I looked good.

I know people are thinking, "conceited beeatch" but admit it; girls can't help themselves when they know they look good that day.  And I know everyone has a "mirror face."  I've seen all my girlfriends, even my boyfriend, make their "mirror face."  Some girls pucker up, some girls widen their eyes, some girls suck in their cheeks (some boys do, too *ahem* DAVE) and some girls prefer their profiles.  It's essentially people putting their "best face forward."  Sometimes I wonder if people see me the way I see myself in the mirror.  Sometimes I wish they saw me the way I saw me, but I guess that's my ego speaking.  Sometimes I hope they see me bigger, better, more beautiful than I see me and I guess that's my insecurity speaking.

Even at the office, sitting in my cubicle, I'll pick up my compact and just glance into it.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  I'll just subconsciously grab my little pocket mirror, open it up, make a little face, rub my lips together, pat my hair and I'm done. 

This may sound completely stupid or completely obvious, but doesn't it feel good when you look into the mirror and like what you see?  It's almost like a little pick-me-up.  When you look good, you feel good and your day is that much better.  When you look like sh*t, you feel like sh*t and your day gets that much worse. 

Especially for us ladies; make-up & dress-up are so so SO important.

Just sayin'.

Cheers,

Cheryl

cheeeeeesin'.

like a foo.

Got them braces off!  I dindunnit!  Peektures to come later.

Gotta blog about something else for a quick second.

Check this out #1. - It's a video taken in Pyongyang, North Korea by a slick photographer, Steve Gong.  It truly gives you a different perspective on life over there in the unknown and he was really able to capture a lot of angles despite the strict regulations the NK government has on photography and videotaping.  My description is doing nothing for the video.  Just watch.

Check this out #2. - This is a video taken in Japan by a few reporters.  These days, everywhere you turn, you see and hear about the destruction and horror of all the disastrous things happening in Japan right now, but this video really hits home for me.  Not just because I have dogs and because I'm a dog-lover but if the animals are suffering and lost like this, one can only imagine the emotional distraught of the humans there.

Man.  And here I am giggling and laughing about getting my braces taken off.  Watching these videos really makes me reflect on my life and what I've been so blessed to have.  Let's really cherish and thank God for every. little. thing.

Cheers,

A Braces-Free Cheryl

sucka mcccccccc.

GETTING MY BRACES OFF IN TWO NIGHTS.

WHAT WHAT in the BUTT.

I'm actually pretty worried that it may not happen because my orthodontist mentioned that there is still a small gap between two of my teeth and if that gap doesn't close up, I will have to wear my braces for a little while longer.  GASP!  However, the gap has been extremely stubborn for the past few months (it's actually the only reason why I haven't gotten my braces off sooner) so I'm thinking I'll give in to its stubbornness and accept that the gap and I were just meant to be.  Fall into the gap. (sorry) 

Gaw, I just want to get them off already and not have to worry about biting into ggahkdoogi and having a brace come off, or biting into a sandwich and have remnants of the lettuce, ham, and bread stuck in each individual brace, or eating something colored and have my braces stained red and blue all day, or posing for a picture whilst cleverly disguising the fact that I have braces, or laughing with my mouth open and wondering if people are staring at my braces, orrr pretty much eat anything and have to rinse and/or toothpick my teeth to liberation from food chunks...

Anyone else excited to see my tiger-print and purple-glitter retainers?

Cheers,

Cheryl

don't be foolish.

"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise
and the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."

²⁶ Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

-1 Corinthians 1:26-31

The above verses actually remind me of that new show on ABC, "Secret Millionaire."  For those who've never heard of it, the show, which originated in the UK, I believe, is about millionaires who hide their true identity to go live with and amongst the poor in various less-than-fortunate towns.  In each scenario, the millionaire is genuinely touched by the volunteers and the locals in the respective areas and chooses an organization or an individual to whom they reveal their true identity and donate a minimum of a hundred thousand dollars.  Many of these millionaires (the "strong") are incredibly humbled by the impoverished (the "weak") and each episode truly exemplifies what God means in the above passage.

Nothing is by our power, our strength, our knowledge, or our will; let's take pride in knowing He lives in us and we through Him. 

This past weekend, I had originally planned nights full of fun and rage-tastic memories with my girlfriends but instead, I went to Jersey on Friday night to have dinner at home and, completely comatose from the feast, passed out early.  I woke up at 5:30am on Saturday, went to early morning service and prayed until tears flooded every hole in my face (that's kind of gross, eh?) then golfed with my parents and the manfriend.  That night, I had an early dinner and passed out at home despite the urges to rage.  Sunday, I went to church then went to Bible study and again came home, had an early dinner, watched Toy Story 3 and went to bed. 

How radically different from the weekend I had planned/imagined...

Let's not be ashamed to be broken before God and humble ourselves knowing He is truly omnipotent and omnipresent.  He draws us near to Him when we least expect it and calms our hearts when we most need it. 

Lord, may even the most boastful of us be humbled by Your grace.

Cheers,

Cheryl
 

PFW

oh, if only.

In light of PFW, I wanted to finish this post. I started it as a draft knowing that this photo really really struck a chord in me, but not knowing where, exactly, I wanted to take it.

This is a shot taken by Scott Schuman from Preen's SS 2011 line. He commented on the beauty of the dress and the model herself, but I wanted to point out something entirely different; her feet.

Her feet are way. too. big. for those shoes and 'tis a haute couture runway model's life.  Her toes are curling over the tips of the 5-6 inch stilletto-heeled shoes and the strap of the heels are so tightly wound 'round the backs of her ankles.  Do you see how the toes on her right foot are literally touching the runway as she walks?  The shoes, however beautiful they are, are clearly at least two sizes too small for this model.  Yet, look at her face, her poise, her elegance and, as the great Sartorialist himself pointed out, the way the dress moves, unnerved by the obvious pain shooting through her entire body from the much-too-tight shoes.  Some may say that's the price models pay, but no, I think this is the price many of us pay on a daily basis.

We hide our insecurities, our sorrows, our angst to display a facade of poised confidence. Sometimes it works like a charm, sometimes it doesn't.  I'm sure no one noticed the model's poor poor feet and only saw how beautifully she sashayed down that runway.  The image as a whole is worth hiding a few flaws bit of pain for, I'd say. 

We're all models.

Cheers,

Cheryl

EDIT: "flaws" was a horrible word choice.  I don't think insecurity, pain, anxiety, sadness, or anything of the sort is a flaw in any way. 

40days.

늘 감사하자, 그러면 더 감사할 일이 생긴다.

Lent started yesterday and I always gave up something every year but after much thought, I've decided that this year, I'm going to commit to DOING something instead of giving something up.

I will fast lunch and read at least a passage of the Bible every day. 

Starting with 1 Corinthians.

The first passage I read was aptly titled, "Thanksgiving."

 ⁴ I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. ⁵ For in him you have been enriched in every way—with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge— ⁶ God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. ⁷ Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. ⁸ He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

-1 Corinthians 1:1-9

Hopefully I can encourage some of my friends to read the Bible by means of my blog.

Cheers and Thanks,

Cheryl

anxious.

"nothing diminishes anxiety
faster than action."

My body is in the offices of a law firm in midtown Manhattan assisting a team of hardass litigators, but my mind is at home on my laptop doing more research, reaching out to more people, and planning more details for a business that is still somewhat only a wild dream but is starting to really have tangible potential.

Waiting for news on a shipment I'm expecting from Korea... hopefully this will be the real start of something extraordinary.

Pray for me if you love me.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: Whenever I'm feeling discouraged by the situation or by people around me, I pay a visit to one of my best friends' blogs.  Terrence is making them moves and it's inspiring.  Hopefully I can visit him in China soon...

PPS: I just realized two of my absolute best male friends have both started their own businesses.  One was one of my best friends in America since the 5th grade and another was my closest male friend in Korea.  I am just now realizing the similarities between the two of them.  How interesting...

quick thought #29.

you never know how much keeping in touch with people will pay off but...

today, i'm realizing it pays off a lot.

smiles.

so, so right.

Everything about this is just so, so, SO right. 

The lengths, the textures, the colors, the socks, the shoes, the bag; how did she do it?

jam-free guarantee.

so what happens when it jams?

I clicked "new post" to begin writing a blog entry, not because I had another thought to jot down, but only because my blog's been abandoned for about a week now and simply put, I felt bad.  Then, a co-worker started freaking out a few cubicles down from me, about how her "jam-free guarantee" stapler was jammed.  At first I wanted to tell her to shut up and call Staples, until the pretty hilarious irony of the situation hit me.

What makes anything guaranteed?  Why bother with guarantees?  If it's "guaranteed or your money back," you're basically buying a product with an insurance policy.  Anything that needs insurance is something you should reconsider.  Red flag, for sure.  I mean, of course everyone has 100% faith in anything they're trying to sell for a quick buck or two, leading them to add the easy "guaranteed or your money back!" line at the end of their lengthy infomercial.  My question is, do they employ this not-too-clever marketing ploy knowing their product sucks and will ultimately fail to up-keep the guarantee or do they do this because they geuinely believe in the everlasting powers of what they're trying to sell? 

I promise I'll be by your side forever.  I guarantee you'll love this restaurant.  I swear I've never said anything bad about you behind your back.  I just want you to believe what I am saying.  Maybe not forever, but in this very moment, where I am speaking using only my mouth and not my head because I just really need you to believe me, I am going to employ words of all sorts of extremity (no, not an arm or a leg) just to have you believe me for a second.

We are so eager to have people believe our every word and so quick to assume they'll listen and eventually nod in fervent agreement, that we don't stop to think about the chances of actually having to give them their money back when the situation goes awry and the stapler jams (was that a run-on sentence?).  What if they don't want their money back?  What if they just wanted you to keep your promise of "jam-free guarantee"?  They took a chance when they believed you.  Rarely do they want that chance given back; they just want you to keep your promise.  You know, money is an easy one.  Just fork that cash on over and the transaction is done with only the hope of satisfaction left with both parties.  But is it possible to give back trust or respect or love or another chance?

A few recent situations I got myself into proved to me that a few good relationships, no matter deep or shallow or in-between, have this powerful possibility.  The outcome is left to be seen.

This post was a pretty awful attempt at illustrating what, in my mind, is a super intricate knot of thoughts.  Damn.  One thing's for sure, I don't want people putting up mental red flags when I speak to them about something I'm trying to be completely truthful about...

Cheers,

Cheryl

smile on my face.

it's been a long two days
lacking in smile and laughter.

Sounds so dramatic, doesn't it? But alas, 'tis true. Yesterday and today were absolutely the busiest days ever at work for me. I am just taking a breather now to blog about something quickly. I think my blog has been void of some mom & pop lovin' recently so let me take a second to fill that void.

I see my parents every weekend but last weekend I wasn't feeling well enough to make the bus trip to church so I stayed home. I saw my dad today to pick-up my tax return forms and my fatigue, stress, and overall lack of energy dissipated upon hearing my dad's voice go, "Yo, Jinjin."

HAHAHAHA WHY IS HE SO CUTE. He was dressed in a black undershirt, red sweater, black fleece jacket and daddy also got a spiffy new haircut. He looked like he just stepped out of our living room, not his office! Anyway, it was a burst of energy in an otherwise long week/day. Seeing him smile, hearing him laugh, listening to him nag me about how I was dressed, aaahhh it was such familiar comfort, and that's all I needed to make the trek back to my office and finish the day's work.

Another moment of absolute heppiness (rather, hilarity) happened a few minutes ago when my mom responded via blackberry to an email I sent her. I responded back with "whoaaa mama you're using your blackberry to email nowww?!" and her reply back read: "Of course cus I da COOL mommy kkk"

HAHAHAHAHAHA my parents kill me. I live for these folks, seriously.

Friends, most (if not all) of us live in the busy hustle bustle of New York City, away from the two people who (literally) made us. They gave us life; let's take a second out of every day to make them feel alive.

Cheers,

Cheryl

word.

step-by-step. let's get it done!

one whole year.

since you gave me a shot of jager and said it'd cure my cold.

since you called and asked if i was feeling better.

since you brought me ice cream, nyquil, and orange juice.

since we had dinner for the first time at boka.

since we went to noraebang together in st. marks.

since we dressed exactly the same on our "second date."

since we had dinner for the second time at saigon grill.

since i heard you speak chinese fluently.

since i thought you had the shiniest forehead i've ever seen.

...and the biggest (but nicest) nose i've ever seen on a korean.

since you gave me chocolate from Le Maison Du Chocolat for "white day."

since we met on the windiest and rainiest day ever to watch "Shutter Island."

since you fed me skittles.

since you first held my hand.

since you first kissed me.

since you made pear & honey tea for my throat.

since i first made you pasta.

since you visited me at work 'cus you missed me.

since the day i took off work (my first ever) to go to king sauna with you.

since you officially asked me out via hand-written letter.

since we first had a sahmgyupsahl feast.

since you left me sweet messages on my phone that made my heart go wild.

since we had our DTR at boka and you spilled your heart out to me.

since you told me you loved me and i said "already?"

and though it took some time, since i told you i loved you back.

happy "one year since..." to you and here's to many, many more to come.

action.

"One dreamed of becoming somebody.
Another remained awake and became."



shout-out to terrence.

pair me.

ham & swiss
butter & garlic
smoked salmon & creamcheese
dark chocolate & raspberries
cheddar & potatoes
honey & dduk
oil & redwine vinegar
olives & vodka
scotch & gingerale
seltzer & lime
hotsauce & ...everything.

this list can go on forever but these are some of my favorite flavor-pairings. a total flavor explosion in my mouth, every time for sure.

gogooma.

chizzzeck it out:

This is the purple gogooma the manfriend goo-wuh'd (I don't know what goo-wuh is exactly, in English... bake? cook? grill? nothing sounds right!) for me to eat in the morning. He gives me gogoomas from time to time to eat as breakfast or as a snack and they are ALWAYS goo-wuh'd to absolutely perfection. The skin peels riiight off and the outside is almost chewy and the inside is oh-so-soft and the whole treat is delectably sweet! Like him! Hehe :)

Best gogooma goo-wuh-er EVER.

Thank you, pumpkin.

(as a side-note: the purple ones are soooooo much better than the regular ones*-*)

moleskin v. smythson

battle it out,
you leatherbound beauties.

Scribbling my thoughts in a notepad has been a constant source of remembrance and reflection for me, ever since I can remember. Wilder months brimming with fun events and fond memories (usually during a transition phase of some sort) always took up more space than the more timid times of repetitive everyday life, but oddly enough, the notes I made during these "normal" days always contained more profound observations. Starting with neon unicorn Lisa Frank notepads in elementary school, to the Mead Composition ones in middle school, then the Five-Star college-ruled notebooks in high school, then perusing the shelves of fancier more sophisticated notebooks in Barnes & Noble and choosing the most "adult," yet, aesthetically pleasing one I can find in college, to ultimately deciding on the Moleskin as the best notebook to fit my purposes, I am now at another crossroads where I can either choose to betray my beloved Moleskin brand or remain faithful to its simple leatherbound pages.

Smythson has caught my eye and my Moleskin is fighting a losing battle. I went through the pages of my small Moleskin recently and came upon a few thoughts I'd like to elaborate on by means of this blog. I miss creative writing. I miss taking a seemingly nondescript singular line of no particular fascination and transforming it into a literary mess of words that capture a tangible emotion or demand a reaction or, at the very least, spark the reader's interest.

This blog as a temporary museum to showcase some excerpts (refurbished and polished, of course) from my dear Moleskin... perhaps that'll be my farewell.

Cheers,

Cheryl

blog-o-sphere.

watch your step as you enter
and enjoy your stay.

More and more friends are joining in on the blogspot experience and this is very very exciting. I have to be honest and say that I'm not as excited to read their entries as I am that they will now be more prone to reading MY entries. PWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry, guys. Half-kidding; I'm excited that I now have more websites to visit when I'm bored at work and in need of some entertainment!

As a vow to re-commit (again) to my blog, I will finish all my incomplete entries. Warm-hearted taxi cab drivers, sad tree stumps, tight shoes on the runway, silly children and their sillier memories..... these are some of the tidbits from my entries to come.

Curious, yet? I hope so... :(

And speaking of silly childhood memories, here's a joke my mother told me, my lil' bro and my cousin when we were in elementary school.

"A guy gets into the elevator at his office with the smoking hot receptionist and says to her, 'Hey, rough week, eh? TGIF.' She looks at him, unamused, and responds with, 'No, S.H.I.T.' He turns bright red and immediately feels embarrassed but tries to play it off by saying, 'Rough day too, I guess? TGIF though!' She stares and him and says again, 'NO. SHIT.' He looks away and is just about ready to pee his pants when she taps him and says, 'Sorry Honey, It's Thursday.'"

Yes, this is the joke my mother told me (whilst cracking up) during my childhood. You can imagine what the rest of my childhood was like, right? Hahaha :D

Happy Thursday, everyone; we're that much closer to Monday--;; hehehe...

Cheers,

Cheryl

maria.

I feel stunning~
and entrancing~~
feel like running and dancing for joy~~~
for I'm loved,
by a pretty wonderful boy~!

I've studied West Side Story in my Musical Theater class in college and have watched clips here and there of different variations and productions of the musical, but never have I ever actually seen the show in its entirety in person in one sitting.

The above "I Feel Pretty" sung by Maria is definitely one of my favorite songs ever, though.

think hard.

it's like my mind's a gym
and my thoughts are training for an eternal marathon.

No one really knows what anyone is actually thinking. Isn't that one of the scariest things ever? I can be the nicest person to you, smile and laugh at all your jokes, giggle and squeal at your compliments, hug and kiss you with every hint of affection, but inside, the entire time, I can be thinking, "I hate you."

It's like that movie, What Women Want? I think I totally butchered the title, but I believe it was with Mel Gibson and he was able to read women's thoughts. This supernatural ability allowed him to woo and win over any woman he wanted because he knew, exactly, what she was thinking at every moment. Fascinating but completely scary. I don't think he ends up with that ability for good, nor does he want it. We've all had instances where we either adore a person but act like we abhor them, or on the flipside, we could absolutely detest a person but act like we are utterly entranced by them. I know I'm guilty of it almost every day. Aren't you?

Sometimes you have the power to act the way you really feel. Rarely are you lucky enough to have the power and the right circumstances. The combination of both is somewhat exhilirating because essentially, you'd be doing and saying whatever the hell you wanted, whenever the hell you wanted, but it's also dangerous because restrain should almost always be exercised to maintain a certain level of harmony in any social setting. As my blog title reads, my mouth can be a huge liability and believe me, there's no insurance to cover hurt feelings or misunderstanding or friendships lost or opportunities gone. If this restraint isn't executed, you'd be one helluva selfish (albeit lonely) person, I think.

Out of all the inane, complex, and overall useless thoughts I have running through my head, I must have this train of thought the most. Why can't I just do and say whatever I wanted? For how long does this restraint hold me prisoner to the judgment of others? Can anyone ever truly be uninhibited? I've formulated a number of answers to these questions (mostly to satisfy my temporary needs or most current situation) but God's telling me the ultimate answer is love. If I was a lover, I wouldn't have to pretend to be a certain way... my actions and words will always naturally resonate love, right?

I speak my mind and usually my mind has a lot to say. I can make a long-winded conversation out of just about anything until I am absolutely certain my opinions are, at the very least, acknowledged. Tonight, I spoke my mind again, but I'm not sure if I acted out of love. Tonight, I displayed some restraint, but still don't think I acted out of love.

Maybe it's time I stop thinking about the answers and think about how to accept that answer I've known to exist all along. Or maybe, I should just stop thinking so hard in general.

Cheers,

Cheryl

vamp.

re-vamp? vamp?

Not sure what "re-vamp" actually means or where it originates from, but I did dunnit (revamp, that is)!

Spring is a-coming (or so I hope) and I decided my blog was much too dark and drab for the warm beauty of Spring!!!

Blogspot really outdid itself with all the fencyyy fonts. I tried to refrain from using a different font-type for every link, title, and text but..... it was difficult, okay?!

Coming to my blog is like a new experience now, even for myself. Many friends have started to blog and fill their online journals with colorful words and pictures so I should re-dedicate myself to mine.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: Hear it's gonna snow again in a few weeks...... pwnd.

hate.

i absolutely hate that i now have a scar emblazoned through my right eyebrow.

really really really hate it.

how upsetting...

short-term goals.

i WILL get my driver's permit this month.

quick thought #28.

all these businesses that share the same idea and concept...
i wonder if they're just ripping off each other and trying to one-up the other...
or i wonder if, at one point, each owner had the same "original" idea...
and they all just executed it at different times...
resulting in mass coincidence and competition.

can't let this happen.

not survival of the fittest- rather, survival of the first.

meant to be.

some things aren't,
but you make them.

First snowboarding trip of 2011 and I'm pumped. Wake up in the morning feeling like Shawn White and get my gear on. Pick-up my mom's car in Jersey and load myself with some Dunkin' and off we go.

Find some random local mountain and decide to give it a chance. The manfriend pays for our lift tickets and I saunter off to rentals. Lean over to put on my boots and as I lace 'em up as tight as they would go... WHACK!

Diagonally in the face, hit by some negligent kid's snowboard. Hold my hands to my face thinking the pain would subside so that I can get on my way up the mountain, until I feel something warm in my hands. Pull them away and all I see is deep deep scarlet blood.

Where the hell is my boyfriend. Stand up, blood streaming down my face, down my hands, into my sleeves and I see him walk in. Runs over, shocked, and presses napkins to my face. Walks me over somewhere and the rest is a blur.

Wake up a couple of hours later to 7 stitches through my eyebrow. Didn't even get both boots on...

Second big accident while gone snowboarding but not ACTUALLY snowboarding. Some things aren't meant to be, but you make 'em.

Hitting (hoping to) the slopes again this weekend. Wish me luck.

Cheers,

Cheryl

last bit o'...

skittle.

I've developed a strange habit. For whatever incomprehensible reason, I just cannot bring myself to finish a Skittle. No, I don't mean a bag of Skittles; I mean one singular chewy fruity Skittle.

I love the new Crazy Core Skittles and normally, I can finish an entire bag in one sitting. I bought a bag 3 days ago and I am still struggling to get through them. They have been sitting at my desk in my office waiting to be devoured. This inability to finish the bag is bizarre in itself. What's more bizarre is the fact that I absolutely cannot bring myself to chew and swallow the last morsel of a Skittle. I've been eating them one by one until there's nothing but literally a peppercorn-sized bit of the Skittle left... and then I spit it out.

I now have a bunch of these little morsels on a napkin in front of me. I didn't even realize I was doing this until I saw the napkin...

That's all.

Cheers,

Cheryl

>45hrs.

right into the trash.

I spend a minimum of 45 hours in the office a week. A third of those hours spent at my cubicle are used to complete work-related tasks. Another third of those hours are spent doing absolutely wasteful things such as... writing this blog entry. The final third of those 45+ hours is spent dreaming about what life would be like outside of an office.

When I get home at around 7pm, I have approximately 4 hours until I start getting really sleepy. Every minute out of those four hours is spent in a state of absolute fatigue.

9 hours in the office, void of sunlight and energy, literally rotting away at my desk in front of a monitor that wants to do all but take over my life. 4 hours to spend with the people I care about and have to do whatever the hell I want.

This is not the life I want to live; now or ever. I know what I want to do to live the life I want to live. The only question is........... when?

I guess the answer is......... now.

Cheers,

Cheryl

quick thought #...idunno.

I need my eyelashes back and my braces off, stat.

On a happier note, purchased a beautiful Ralph Lauren coat, a 686 boarding jacket, and much-needed Nike sneakers this past weekend.

I am a happy but broke camper!

:D

ps: Happy New Year everyone. Many many blessings in 2011!