quick thought #18

"i hate facts.

they get in the way of my opinions."

-j. sakiya sandifer, The Think Movement.

axe they questions.

i just really want to know...

My friend and I have talked about this topic many times before but I was just reminded of it via Kanye West's Twitter (seriously, if you haven't check it out, do it.. it's pure entertainment) and a co-worker's comment. I just want to know why African-Americans who speak in ebonics say "axe" instead of "ask" and "they" instead of "their."

ex 1) "I don't know where this letter has to go.. I'm going to axe the receptionist."
ex 2) "Why do they have to make they passwords so long?"

Why would you axe the receptionist. That is just unnecessary violence in the office, friend. All kidding aside, I understand it's a lingo and I actually genuinely think the idea of "ebonics" is really fascinating but while I can stomach the double-negatives ("there ain't no milk!) and the replacement of "y" with "ch" and shortening of verbs ("whatCHu gon' do?"), I just don't understand why they cannot say, "ask." I mean, they say "mask" just fine? They don't go around saying "did you buy a max for Halloween?" So why, in heavens name, can't they say A-S-K? Someone enlighten me.

The same goes for "they." At first, I used to think this was because they can't (rather, didn't want to) pronounce "their" with the "r" sound at the end. Then, I realized they don't say "hey" instead of "hair"! You don't see women shouting, "gurl I'm gon' git ma hey done!" If anything, they'd said "hurrr" right? So why don't people say "thurrr" instead of "they" for "their?"

Does any of this make sense? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to degrade or belittle African-Americans and this manner of speaking in any way. As aforementioned, I am quite fascinated by ebonics. I think this post hits the heart of my fascination; I just don't have a grasp on it. There are no rules to it; you just have to listen and memorize. It's actually super genius if you think about it. Where did it start and why and how has it developed over the years? I took a communications course in college that touched upon the study of ebonics and it was probably the most interesting part of the class.

My friend, who is Korean-American but grew up and went to school with primarily African-Americans, throws out a phrase or 2 (or 9) in ebonics from time-to-time. He's an investmant banker so it's pretty funny when he does this dressed in his glasses and suit. It really makes a person stand out; not to mention, everything is 10x funnier said in ebonics! Does anyone else feel me on this?

Please, don't call me a bigot. I'm just voicing what I bet a lot of folks are thinking.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: If anyone is interested: www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ebonics.

the things that matter.

some, more obvious
than others.

I was sorting through old documents on my desk when I came upon an exercise I had to do during a "leadership training" workshop at my firm. The exercise instructed me to list what I was grateful for. As my eyes read down the list, here is what I saw:

1) Family
2) Friends
3) Boyfriend
4) My job
5) Bo-ssam.

And there it is, ladies & gents. The 5 most important things in Cheryl's life--the people she loves, who love her back, and steamed pork slices wrapped in lettuce w/ kimchi.

I was definitely NOT focused on the workshop and completely bored out of my mind. I am cracking up at the thought of my drowsy, uninterested self scribbling "bossam" on that list whilst my co-workers wrote things like "Obama's New Home-Owner Tax Credit" and "the end of the war in Iraq." It's good to know I have my priorities straight.

I am my new favorite person.

Cheers,

Cheryl

all day every day.

swag in china.
check it out: taekim.tumblr.com

I'm a cutter. No, I don't cut myself, but I cut people. Not literally, with a knife or something, but I cut them out of my life. If I find you necessary for my well-being, I'll make sure I keep you around, but if you're not, I'll cut you. Wow, that sounds horribly morbid.

Anyway, I've cut out quite a few people from my life who were once important and close to me. It's never an easy process (and sometimes I do it unintentionally) but it's usually warranted. Apart from my family, however, there is one constant in my life (person, that is) that I just never was able to and never will cut out. His name is Terrence Intae Kim and he is truly my best friend. He may deny it or not admit it, but deep down he knows I am his best friend too.

I met Terrence way back in the 4th grade or so at Fort Lee TaeKwonDo. I think I kicked his ass sparring and he may have cried, but it's a touchy subject so we don't discuss it in public. Then we met again in the 5th grade at Upper School in Englewood Cliffs, NJ. Our friendship blossomed and grew and classmates in our 5th grade class often told us we were like a married couple. I was taller than him then and that's also a touchy subject. I moved to Korea in the 7th grade and he moved to California. We kept in minimal touch during that time and I moved back to the States in the middle of my freshman year of high school. Lo' and behold, Terrence moved from California to my town during junior year and we were reunited. This time, he had a good 6 inches on me. Damnit. Our friendship bloomed further throughout high school and we kept in consistent contact throughout college and post-college as well.

I can confidently say that he is one person who I truly vibe with and I am just at complete peace with myself when I am talking to him. I can tell him anything and talk to him about everything and instantly he will solve my once grandiose problems with just a few words. He'll tell me like it is and isn't afraid to be honest with me. Just now, I was being a dumb psycho girl, and he says simply, "nah, relax, not worth it" and "just let it be" and "chill out" and BAM, it's a done deal; I am chilled out.

I don't really know how or why he has the effect he does on me, but for whatever reason, Terrence is the one person who always makes me feel better about any situation. He is rarely stressed out or freaking out and is quite possibly the "chillest," most down-to-earth kid I know. He drives me crazy at times and is insanely sarcastic and blunt but I love him for that. The dude is across the globe in China, swaggin' it out, but I take comfort in knowing that our friendship has lasted this long throughout multiple long-distance conversations and that everything will be exactly the same when he returns.

If I had to choose a "Man-of-Honor" at my wedding, it'd be Terrence Intae Kim.

Gawd, I miss him.

Cheers,

Cheryl

quick thought #17.

sometimes, a good, long, loud, angry EFF-bomb is necessary, warranted, and relieving.


FFFFFFFFFF****CCCCCKKKKKKKKK.

be nice.

so very difficultly easy.

If you ask my family, they will tell you I am a naive, kind-hearted, softie. If you ask my friends, they will tell you I am a critical, brutal, bitch. How these two groups of people came to possess two totally different images of me, I do not know. Sigh.

A new roommate is moving in with me and my other two roommates today. She is coming from California. I have never before met her. I am a highly judgmental woman with highly explosive criticisms of people that I, contrary to popular belief, have absolutely no control over. I'm serious. If I don't like you for whatever reason, no matter how hard I try, my stubborn-ass mind will not budge to make room for a second chance. I apologize wholeheartedly on its behalf.

I've posted once before about my ability to cut people out. This unique skill is due to my intolerance of dumb, tactless, socially inept, human beings. Having said that, I am scared that the bitch in me will resurface and deem me unable to embrace my new roommate without prejudice. I have heard and seen too much about "LA K-Town Trash" and I would very much prefer my new roommate to be the opposite of that (that way, we can easily convert her to NYC K-Town Trash HAHA..jk).

Oh geez... I must consistently remind myself to be nice.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: New Roommate is bringing friends from California. Omg this is too much for me to handle. Reminder to self: watch the mouth and the evil stares.

PPS: OMG SHE'S BRINGING HER DOG TOO! I keep forgetting this bit of information. If her dog tries to hump our precious Dorimonster, I really don't know what I'll do. =X

non-american writing.

the everso eloquent russians
& the swedes.

I recently finished reading the first installment of Stieg Larsson's Millenium Trilogy, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and have started on the second, The Girl who Played with Fire. I must applaud Larsson on the wonderfully intricate plot and I find it a damn shame that I can't read the original Swedish version of the novels. I get anxious at the thought of losing the author's original intent or creative spirit in telling his story, so I re-read the English over and over to make sure I've fully grasped the direction in which he is taking his readers (which is probably why it took light-years for me to finish the book; my apologies to everyone who's been wanting to borrow it). I desperately need to learn a new lanuage. Or several.

That being said, another book I've been meaning to read by another non-American novelist is Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov. His book was written in English, I believe, and later translated into Russian, so I'm hoping I don't miss out on any linguistically detailed aspects of his story.

"I confess, I do not believe in time." -Nabokov

He knows wsup.

Cheers,

Cheryl

missed connections.

perhaps,
i've had some too?

Craigslist is probably the most visited site after Facebook and Google. I mean, who doesn't love Craig's list of gadgets, jobs, housing and misc services? I owe Craig a lot; he even helped me find my new apartment! Craig even gives us a hand in finding true love. The "Missed Connections" section under the Personals is one of my absolute favorite places to go on the web when I am bored, in need of a cute pick-me-up, or feeling stalkerish. Some posts are put up by insecure perverts in need of a cheap dirty laugh (or some other form of perverse satisfaction), but others are posted by innocent hopefuls genuinely wishing they could find the "tall brunette in purple dress on Q train at 9am today." The romantic in me hopes some of these brave folk find the woman/man they're looking for...

Here are some of my recent favorites:

"Girl you tiny as hell... and by tiny, I mean cute. Sincerely, The Giant who got off at Flushing Ave."

"You sneezed on 13th St near 6th Ave, I smiled. I wanted to say, "Gesundheit," but was thrown off guard by how adorable you were. So in our short amount of time, I could only muster a smile. Hope you have a fantastic Tuesday and aren't catching a cold."

"...was going to ask your name... instead, forgot my own..."

"breezy, brief.. but I do miss you."

"This is a stretch but I saw you in the elevator and we chatted about yellow paint. Can I take you to a movie?"

"We got off together and walked as far as 59th, then I lost you. I should have said something, but all I could do was smile."

"You said 'hello' and I said 'good'... I was nervous and then you walked and never turned back. I wanted to talk but you were gone..... Let's get together for a coffee?"

Man. I was getting the butterflies myself while typing these out! How unbelievably romantic are some of these people? I like to think that maybe someone out there posted one about me once. I think I've had one or two of these moments on a subway or a street corner somewhere. Haven't you? And even if I don't remember the connection, it's nice to think that you gave someone (even if only for that moment) a bit of hope and the chance to muster up enough courage to expose themselves publicly like that. The raw, honest, vulnerability of these people is truly remarkable. I mean, honestly, the cynic in me wants to laugh at how ridiculous and perhaps cowardly these people are, sitting behind their monitors confessing their feelings as opposed to actively pursuing their love interests, but at the end of the day, I am a girl and girls love this stuff (take notes, men). You know, when two people have a connection, no matter how random the location or circumstances are, I'm sure they'd know and I'm sure they'd feel it. Humans thrive on emotion and first impression; who's to say these people haven't experienced love at first sight?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about half a year now and while I love him and am still quite breathless at the thought and sight of him, I know those beginning butterflies and "what if" moments won't come back. I can only smile at the memory of them and be satisfied knowing that I too, once had dizzying spells at his every word, smile, sneeze, glance, and touch.

Sometimes I'll imagine the scene playing out in my head of some of these posts. A cute short film should be made taking bits and pieces from the Missed Connections section, no?

I'd definitely watch it.

Cheers,

Cheryl

quick thought #16.

I absolutely adore rainy mornings.

(I just wish I was able to spend them at home and not in the office!)

a verbal illustration.

my comrades, my comfort.

Amid the fleeting moments the bustle of New York City has to offer, a never-ending conversation full of secrets, laughter, stupidity, and longing finds a niche in the hearts of our blackberries. The chit-chat amongst four 20-something Manhattan gals started who-knows-when and does not cease. The clacking of our nails on the keys is louder and stronger than our heels on the pavement as we make our way to work. The banter exchanged amongst the four during their time in their cubicles, at their seats, in front of their monitors, at their keyboards, always takes precedence over the day's work. The lines of conversation are an endless stream full of codes and puzzles and jokes and gossip that an outsider can only quizzically stare at with no means of any comprehension. As the day progresses and the chatroom finds its winding way through and around the most meaningful of meaningless topics, relationships and friendships both, have the ability to strengthen and weaken in the way only words can force them to. We can only hope that the conversation exchanged face-to-face when at home together at the end of the day, is just as beautifully wild.

Here's to you, bbm.

Cheers,

Cheryl

ride the season.

an epidemic
slow to hit even the most
oblivious of people.

The manfriend recently forewarned me of his tendency to "ride the seasons." In Korean, to "ride a season" means to get a bit moody or sensitive when the seasons start to change. Now, I get sad when I have to put away my bikinis and sandals in exchange for my gloves and sweaters, but it really ain't no thang. I embrace all the seasons in all their extreme glory; then again, I'm not a super moody or sensitive person in general. My mood is, 99% of the time, pretty level.

I guess I can see why someone might get a bit depressed or emotional when the seasons change. It means we're getting a season older. It means we've lost a season that we'll never get back. It means the world is changing when some of us, may be wanting to stay the same. With the season gone, goes with it all the seasonal foods, activities, apparel, even people. In this sense, yes, the transition from one season to the next is pretty darn upsetting. Autumn is peeking its head around the corners of the last of this summer's heat and now that the manfriend mentions it, I am truly sad. Not one trip to the beach, not one chance to tan, and not one legitimate warm vacation taken. Now, I ask myself, how important are all these things? Not too important when I have a lifetime of summers left, I guess. Not too important when I think about the people I've encountered suffering in the devastation and blistering heat of a nation called Haiti (it should really be called Heat-y. Haha.. sorry.. bad joke..). But, you know, just because I have other summers to come doesn't mean I should let this one go so easily. It's dangerous to think so nonchalantly because what could've been in the Summer of 2010, may never be in the Summer of 2011, the Summer of 2012, and beyond. And if there's one thing in the world that I abhor and detest more than mice and pigeons is regret. Which is why I am trying to book a last-minute beach house for a quick getaway. Muhaha.

In conclusion, ladies and gents, I am indeed riding the seasons this year. I'm alright though because I'm lucky; summer and fall are my two favorite seasons and they just happen to be back-to-back so I think I'll enjoy this ride.

...just as long as my ride doesn't last too long.

Cheers,

Cheryl

the same mistake.

but not the same instances
and definitely not the same result.

Girls get curious. Girls are stalkers. Girls over-analyze. Girls get emotional. Girls are evil.

But, boys are stupid.

So girls take pity on boys and let things go. In this instance, however, the girl was stupid as well. Stupid girl has wisened up and learned from past experiences; she is not that same immature irrational girl she was a few years ago. Thank the Heavens.

The circumstances and the situation is just so darn ironic and we're both just so darn silly. Really, we should be able to understand each other and embrace the fact that it's because we care so much about each other that we both feel this way. Be cool, be mature, be calm, be collected--I'm rambling. Bottom line is, the past is the past and I have neither the time nor the energy to dwell on the past. The past really shouldn't taint the present--especially when the present is so good.

A clean slate for us both.

Let's be lovers.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: Prayer. Really. Works.

something happens.

after a mission trip.

I came back from my week-long mission trip to Haiti feeling refreshed, blessed, renewed, rejoicing in the Lord, full of God's love and eager to spread it.

Satan is not too happy about this.

He is tempting me and testing me in heartbreaking and truly effective ways.

Pray for me.

Cheers,

Cheryl

quick thought #15.

be a lover.

(we'll make this quick thought a double.)

a smile is universal.

a craft of his own.

a needle, a razor, and some worn-down pencils.

NYMag always has some of the most interesting articles and it is just the perfect light-hearted little brother to the NYTimes. Today, while perusing through the site, I came across this.

Behold, Pencil-Tip Sculptures by the talented Dalton Ghetti:

And the most insane of them all (my mind can't get a grasp on this one):Is this not one of the most incredible creations you have ever seen?! The more I scrolled, the more excited I got to see what other amazing miniature sculptures his fingers whittled out of the lead and wood of a pencil. Insane!

On a different note, I am on a mission to find the perfect pair of solid, red, suede, close-toed pumps. Hold your breath ladies and feast your eyes on these beauties:

Christian Louboutin Decolette Pumps in Red Suede

Yves Saint Laurent Tribute Pumps in Red Suede

Lanvin Red Patent and Suede Pumps

Ugh. My heart is literally pounding from all the gorgeousity in this post. Cl, YSL, and Lanvin have done good. Too, too good. Too, too bad I can't afford any of these magnificent shoes. Here is a pair I CAN afford:

Steve Madden Trinity Pumps in Red

Steve Madden did alright too, I guess. Oh how dearly I wish I can make like Dorothy and click my Louboutin heels to find my way home.

There's no place like home...

Cheers,

Cheryl

a week and a half.

will it feel like a year?
a day?
or will it feel like a week and a half?

I see my boyfriend almost everyday. It's been 5 months and we are still very much in our beginning stages. He is wonderful. The longest I haven't seen him is 3 days when he went on business to Chicago. Today, he left for another business trip to Los Angeles/Las Vegas and won't be back until next Thursday. You're probably thinking, "oh shut up, you'll see him on Thursday." Well, no. I am leaving for Haiti next Monday and I won't be back until the following Saturday. We will not see each other for a week and a half! How devastating!

Sigh.

I'm going to miss him. I miss him already.

Then again, I probably won't have the time or energy to miss him while I'm in Haiti.

Cheers,

Cheryl

quick thought #14

Kanye West got so much sh*t for the whole Taylor Swift incident and people think he's an arrogant bastard, but I still think he's effing awesome.

New favorite website: twitter.com/kanyewest

for the love of my husband.

how far is my pride
willing to go for a man?

I was talking to my mother on gchat the other day and smack-dab in the middle of our conversation, she cuts me off and says, "sorry g2g ttyl!" (yes, my mom is up-to-date with the online lingo). Before she hurriedly signs off, I ask her, "where are you going?!" and she replies with "daddy is home! g2g make dinner!" Geez-louise.

My family is pretty traditional in the sense that my daddy does not really do much around the house. He works hard and long at the office and comes home, changes his clothes, and plops himself down on the couch to watch ESPN/Golf Channel. I've seen fathers do laundry, do the dishes, even wipe floors, but nope! Not my dad. He takes out the trash occasionally, does all the outside grilling, assembles/disassembles some furniture from time-to-time, but other than that, he doesn't really do much around the house. Now, that's not to say that he is lazy and unhelpful-he does whatever my mom asks him to do (albeit complaining the entire time), but rarely willingly does any chores around the house. Mommy does traditional "mommy duties" and daddy does the traditional "daddy duties."

When I was younger, I told myself that I won't ever be the ideal housewife; I could never do what my mother does. I want to have a career, make my own money, be independent, have a housekeeper and not do all the cooking and cleaning like a stereotypical housewife does. Doesn't the majority of 21st century young girls have this mentality?

Lately, my sentiments about the whole housewife thing has changed everso slightly.

Will I too, one day, be able to drop everything I'm doing to go cook my husband a meal?

Highly doubtful, but who knows. If a woman can change a man, a man could definitely change a woman.

Cheers,

Cheryl