(I had to do it--label this, that is--it's become a habit! T.T)
What if I, plain & simple, just don't want to?
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
keeping it simple.
never underestimate simple.
short & sweet is always good.
I post "quick thoughts" as separate entities from my other entries. Why? I don't really know. I guess I don't deem them worthy of being real full posts so I felt the need to label them, sort of as a disclaimer, before I posted them. I guess I just thought my "real" posts had to be long-winded and explore some seemingly profound thought or idea to deserve recognition as a blog entry.
I am now just realizing how silly I've been.
So for the first time, voila! A quick thought with a title.
As well as a picture (pretty rare to find these in my entries, but I figure oh hell, why not. Let's turn over several new leaves while I'm at it!):
I need me these shoes. Especially in the summer. Especially when I get a fierce new pedicure but my outfit calls for closed-toe shoes. Gawd, this is genius.
Also, please behold:
short & sweet is always good.
I post "quick thoughts" as separate entities from my other entries. Why? I don't really know. I guess I don't deem them worthy of being real full posts so I felt the need to label them, sort of as a disclaimer, before I posted them. I guess I just thought my "real" posts had to be long-winded and explore some seemingly profound thought or idea to deserve recognition as a blog entry.
I am now just realizing how silly I've been.
So for the first time, voila! A quick thought with a title.
As well as a picture (pretty rare to find these in my entries, but I figure oh hell, why not. Let's turn over several new leaves while I'm at it!):
I need me these shoes. Especially in the summer. Especially when I get a fierce new pedicure but my outfit calls for closed-toe shoes. Gawd, this is genius.
Also, please behold:
The Hermes Medor watch (it's killing me that I cannot put the appropriate accents in place). Forget Michele, forget Cartier, forget Rolex, forget Chopard, forget all my ideal sought-after watches. This watch kicks them all to the curb. Hard.
Finally, my lesbian crush (or fashion idol perhaps?):
The always impeccable Anna Dello Russo (Fashion Director/Editor-at-Large at Vogue Nippon and Fashionista Brilliantaire) in the middle with her posse. Mind you, they are all at the Moncler show in Milan wearing matching Prada chandelier heels. Note the green scheme as well, ladies & gents. Gawd, I cannot deal with the beauty of it all.
This post was fun; I feel like a new woman! Oh, and my blog also recently underwent a major facelift.
Enjoy!
Cheers,
Cheryl
quick thought #12.
I have always, always, for the past 23 years, known it to be "crept up" and not "cropped up."
When something or someone suddenly appears or suddenly comes up, I've always used the phrase, "crept up."
Ex1) "OMG, his birthday totally crept up on me; I didn't even get him a gift!"
Ex2) "I didn't see her coming; she crept up out of nowhere!"
Or if you wanna get more fancy,
Ex3) "The blistering sun crept up on the oblivious snowmen and devoured them whole."
Anyway, lately, I have been seeing the phrase "cropped up" used in the same way in various blogs, the book I'm reading, and even the NYTimes!
When did this change happen?! Why was I not alerted?! Or have I been using the incorrect phrase for the past 23 years?!
I am thoroughly confused.
When something or someone suddenly appears or suddenly comes up, I've always used the phrase, "crept up."
Ex1) "OMG, his birthday totally crept up on me; I didn't even get him a gift!"
Ex2) "I didn't see her coming; she crept up out of nowhere!"
Or if you wanna get more fancy,
Ex3) "The blistering sun crept up on the oblivious snowmen and devoured them whole."
Anyway, lately, I have been seeing the phrase "cropped up" used in the same way in various blogs, the book I'm reading, and even the NYTimes!
When did this change happen?! Why was I not alerted?! Or have I been using the incorrect phrase for the past 23 years?!
I am thoroughly confused.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
boys: a collection, pt. 2
welcome back.
I left you off with Middle School BF aka "Bottle One." We'll continue our journey with High School Boyfriend #1.
3) High School Boyfriend #1: There is not too much to say about this one actually. I was new to my high school, fresh off the boat from Korea, and didn't have many friends. High School BF #1 was one of the, if not the most, popular guys in my grade (his crew of friends even named themselves after him), and he let it be known that he thought the new girl (lil' ole me) was cute. I first met him in Spanish class and thought he was one of those super KP, full-of-crap types. I got to know him, however, and he turned out to be the funniest kid ever. He asked me out during lunch one day and I said "yes," to which he replied, "really?! thank you!" He had braces and a mole on his lip at the time (yes, he got them BOTH removed (fyi: this description makes him sound disgusting, but he's really not)) but he picked me up and walked me to class every day and was really quite sweet. He told me he loved me after a day or two of dating and I told him to shut up and never say that again. I was his first GF so I was more experienced in the love department, I guess. I broke it off after about three months, probably because I was still hung up on BF #2, but we remained friends. He is, surprisingly, actually the only BF that I sometimes wonder, "what if...?" about.
4) High School Boyfriend #2: The "church oppa." Man. I'm sure a lot of once young, Korean, youth group attending, Christian girls have had one of these. Mine was new to our youth group his Senior year in high school, but somehow managed to win over the hearts of our youth group members and secured the YG President spot within a month of attending our church. I was a Sophomore and three years younger than him. The flirting started at a retreat (surprise surprise) and another church oppa actually sort-of hooked us up. He asked me out on the playground. He was sweet and we dated for almost a year, then broke-up because he went off to college and it just wasn't working out. He lives in Chicago now but still visits our church from time to time.
5) High School Flings #1 & #2: I'm just gonna bunch these fellas up. These guys were both dudes in the "crew" that I mentioned BF #3 being the "leader" of. HS Fling #1 was actually someone I could've potentially really dated, but fate didn't have it that way, I guess. I don't really remember what went wrong..... anyway. He and I really really clicked and he probably doesn't know it, but the conversations and memories I had with him are, to this day, some of my fondest memories of High School. He is also someone I kind of have a soft spot for; he was really just a thoughtful, witty, and genuinely awesome and talented person. I don't see HS Fling #1 very often, but I wish we were still close friends. HS Fling #2 was just random and dumb. I am still good friends with him so I'm sorry to say this, but I don't really remember much except him wearing way too much Aqua Di Gio all the time. Oh, actually, my then-best friend and I had a huge falling-out, sort of indirectly because of him, but that was dumb too. It was cute and fun while it lasted and that's pretty much it. Sorry HS Fling #2! :(
6) College Boyfriend: I dated one guy all throughout college and it was the biggest waste of time and a huge mistake. Okay, that's really harsh. I believe I've blogged about him before but basically, I was blinded by something and just couldn't snap out of it quickly enough. It was an exceptionally tumultuous relationship that ended in the most explosive, emotional, and dramatic way. He is a good person and really treated me like a queen, but there were just too many complicated issues in his life. I think I'm still coming to terms with what happened between me and him, but I'm happy to say that I'm almost at a place where I can wish him the best and hope he does the same for me.
7) Post-College Boyfriend: This is my current boyfriend (and the bartender that I've mentioned in previous posts). All I can say is that he is the most wonderful man I have ever known (after my daddy, of course). Everyday, I reveal a new layer of him, a new side that I love even more than the previous and everyday, I hope it never ends. I'm scared and excited to see what the future holds in store for us, but I am also just thoroughly enjoying the love and affection he pours out on me in the present. So cheesy, so cliche, I know, but he is truly perfect. I still pinch myself every morning to make sure that it wasn't all a dream and that he is really, truly, mine.
Well, there you have it. Cheryl's collection of boys. What I thought might be a frivolous and slightly pointless entry really had me smiling, chuckling, even tearing at various moments while I typed. Oh, the memories...
Here's to the beauty of recollection.
Cheers,
Cheryl
I left you off with Middle School BF aka "Bottle One." We'll continue our journey with High School Boyfriend #1.
3) High School Boyfriend #1: There is not too much to say about this one actually. I was new to my high school, fresh off the boat from Korea, and didn't have many friends. High School BF #1 was one of the, if not the most, popular guys in my grade (his crew of friends even named themselves after him), and he let it be known that he thought the new girl (lil' ole me) was cute. I first met him in Spanish class and thought he was one of those super KP, full-of-crap types. I got to know him, however, and he turned out to be the funniest kid ever. He asked me out during lunch one day and I said "yes," to which he replied, "really?! thank you!" He had braces and a mole on his lip at the time (yes, he got them BOTH removed (fyi: this description makes him sound disgusting, but he's really not)) but he picked me up and walked me to class every day and was really quite sweet. He told me he loved me after a day or two of dating and I told him to shut up and never say that again. I was his first GF so I was more experienced in the love department, I guess. I broke it off after about three months, probably because I was still hung up on BF #2, but we remained friends. He is, surprisingly, actually the only BF that I sometimes wonder, "what if...?" about.
4) High School Boyfriend #2: The "church oppa." Man. I'm sure a lot of once young, Korean, youth group attending, Christian girls have had one of these. Mine was new to our youth group his Senior year in high school, but somehow managed to win over the hearts of our youth group members and secured the YG President spot within a month of attending our church. I was a Sophomore and three years younger than him. The flirting started at a retreat (surprise surprise) and another church oppa actually sort-of hooked us up. He asked me out on the playground. He was sweet and we dated for almost a year, then broke-up because he went off to college and it just wasn't working out. He lives in Chicago now but still visits our church from time to time.
5) High School Flings #1 & #2: I'm just gonna bunch these fellas up. These guys were both dudes in the "crew" that I mentioned BF #3 being the "leader" of. HS Fling #1 was actually someone I could've potentially really dated, but fate didn't have it that way, I guess. I don't really remember what went wrong..... anyway. He and I really really clicked and he probably doesn't know it, but the conversations and memories I had with him are, to this day, some of my fondest memories of High School. He is also someone I kind of have a soft spot for; he was really just a thoughtful, witty, and genuinely awesome and talented person. I don't see HS Fling #1 very often, but I wish we were still close friends. HS Fling #2 was just random and dumb. I am still good friends with him so I'm sorry to say this, but I don't really remember much except him wearing way too much Aqua Di Gio all the time. Oh, actually, my then-best friend and I had a huge falling-out, sort of indirectly because of him, but that was dumb too. It was cute and fun while it lasted and that's pretty much it. Sorry HS Fling #2! :(
6) College Boyfriend: I dated one guy all throughout college and it was the biggest waste of time and a huge mistake. Okay, that's really harsh. I believe I've blogged about him before but basically, I was blinded by something and just couldn't snap out of it quickly enough. It was an exceptionally tumultuous relationship that ended in the most explosive, emotional, and dramatic way. He is a good person and really treated me like a queen, but there were just too many complicated issues in his life. I think I'm still coming to terms with what happened between me and him, but I'm happy to say that I'm almost at a place where I can wish him the best and hope he does the same for me.
7) Post-College Boyfriend: This is my current boyfriend (and the bartender that I've mentioned in previous posts). All I can say is that he is the most wonderful man I have ever known (after my daddy, of course). Everyday, I reveal a new layer of him, a new side that I love even more than the previous and everyday, I hope it never ends. I'm scared and excited to see what the future holds in store for us, but I am also just thoroughly enjoying the love and affection he pours out on me in the present. So cheesy, so cliche, I know, but he is truly perfect. I still pinch myself every morning to make sure that it wasn't all a dream and that he is really, truly, mine.
Well, there you have it. Cheryl's collection of boys. What I thought might be a frivolous and slightly pointless entry really had me smiling, chuckling, even tearing at various moments while I typed. Oh, the memories...
Here's to the beauty of recollection.
Cheers,
Cheryl
Monday, July 19, 2010
boys: a collection.
boysboys,
sometimes they're toys,
sometimes they're... just plain annoying.
My lovely roomie 4 lyfe, Judith, recently posted an entry on her blog outlining all her past relationships and not-so-relationships. Needless to say, she has inspired me to do the same.
My love-life thus far has been pretty average with some dramatic kicks here and there. Let's take a trip down memory lane shall we...
There was the 5th grade boyfriend with whom I held hands and slow-danced, the middle school boyfriend with whom I also held hands and kissed on the cheek, the high school boyfriend #1 with whom I held hands and... (these descriptions will end here), the high school boyfriend #2, the high school fling #1, the high school fling #2, the college boyfriend, and the post-college boyfriend with whom I am currently madly in love.
1) 5th Grade "BF": It was pretty serious. At Camp Mason, we slow-danced and this other fool who also had a crush on me whined and cried so my BF almost beat him up. Some real romantic stuff going on here, folks. There were 3 guys named "Alex" in the 5th grade back then: Alex Rallo, Alex Perez, and Alex Chung. Youuu guessed it! I dated Alex Perez. Just kidding, my BF was the Korean one, Alex Chung. This was during a time when calling boys by their last name was cool, so I always called him "Chung." Also, I needed a way to differentiate him from the other Alex's. 5th Grade BF was a slightly chubby tan kid with a cute lisp and he had the coolest mushroom haircut in all of the 5th grade. He also kicked the ball the farthest when we played kickball during recess. We never really broke up- just sort of moved onto the 6th grade, I think. No wait nvm, he left our school and started attending the rich private school in my town and became a douchebag who hung out with the likes of Paris Hilton wannabes vacationing in the Hamptons. 5th grade BF went from being a chubby tan kid to being the lean, tan, Asian kid on the football team who all the hot white girls wanted. Damnit, I knew I should've gone to that private school... ANYWAY. We still talk here and there and keep saying we should meet up but never have and probably never will.
2) Middle School BF: I guess you can say this was my first real relationship with a post-pubescent boy (really though, how post-pubescent is 7th grade, huh?) Interestingly enough, he was a native Korean boy I met during my 1 and a half year stay in Korea. I guess I had a thing for FOBs ever since. Most of my close friends know the story about "Bottle One." I won't re-tell the entire story here, due to the high risk of eyeball-blood vessel-burstage from staring at the monitor for too long. It went something like this: love at first sight-he didn't know me/didn't give 2 sh*ts about me-I made myself known-he dumps his then girlfriend (who happened to become one of my closest friends; yea I don't know how that happened either)-he asks me out in what I thought was the hottest way ever (he had his cronies call me up to the top floor of my school and was leaning his elbows against the window sill when I walked upstairs and all he said was "yah, na rang sa gwee ja." which basically roughly translates to, "hey, date me." *DROOL*)-we have this insanely romantic and dramatic puppy/first-love type dating experience-I move to a different school-relationship falters-we break up-I move to America suddenly-I visit Korea/him a year later and we are still very much in puppy-love aaaand I can't get over him for jillions of years after until I met College Boyfriend. The end.
I need a break. This is too much for me to handle all at once. Go grab yourself a diet coke and a bag of popcorn and we'll rendez-vous in 10.
To be continued...
Cheers,
Cheryl
sometimes they're toys,
sometimes they're... just plain annoying.
My lovely roomie 4 lyfe, Judith, recently posted an entry on her blog outlining all her past relationships and not-so-relationships. Needless to say, she has inspired me to do the same.
My love-life thus far has been pretty average with some dramatic kicks here and there. Let's take a trip down memory lane shall we...
There was the 5th grade boyfriend with whom I held hands and slow-danced, the middle school boyfriend with whom I also held hands and kissed on the cheek, the high school boyfriend #1 with whom I held hands and... (these descriptions will end here), the high school boyfriend #2, the high school fling #1, the high school fling #2, the college boyfriend, and the post-college boyfriend with whom I am currently madly in love.
1) 5th Grade "BF": It was pretty serious. At Camp Mason, we slow-danced and this other fool who also had a crush on me whined and cried so my BF almost beat him up. Some real romantic stuff going on here, folks. There were 3 guys named "Alex" in the 5th grade back then: Alex Rallo, Alex Perez, and Alex Chung. Youuu guessed it! I dated Alex Perez. Just kidding, my BF was the Korean one, Alex Chung. This was during a time when calling boys by their last name was cool, so I always called him "Chung." Also, I needed a way to differentiate him from the other Alex's. 5th Grade BF was a slightly chubby tan kid with a cute lisp and he had the coolest mushroom haircut in all of the 5th grade. He also kicked the ball the farthest when we played kickball during recess. We never really broke up- just sort of moved onto the 6th grade, I think. No wait nvm, he left our school and started attending the rich private school in my town and became a douchebag who hung out with the likes of Paris Hilton wannabes vacationing in the Hamptons. 5th grade BF went from being a chubby tan kid to being the lean, tan, Asian kid on the football team who all the hot white girls wanted. Damnit, I knew I should've gone to that private school... ANYWAY. We still talk here and there and keep saying we should meet up but never have and probably never will.
2) Middle School BF: I guess you can say this was my first real relationship with a post-pubescent boy (really though, how post-pubescent is 7th grade, huh?) Interestingly enough, he was a native Korean boy I met during my 1 and a half year stay in Korea. I guess I had a thing for FOBs ever since. Most of my close friends know the story about "Bottle One." I won't re-tell the entire story here, due to the high risk of eyeball-blood vessel-burstage from staring at the monitor for too long. It went something like this: love at first sight-he didn't know me/didn't give 2 sh*ts about me-I made myself known-he dumps his then girlfriend (who happened to become one of my closest friends; yea I don't know how that happened either)-he asks me out in what I thought was the hottest way ever (he had his cronies call me up to the top floor of my school and was leaning his elbows against the window sill when I walked upstairs and all he said was "yah, na rang sa gwee ja." which basically roughly translates to, "hey, date me." *DROOL*)-we have this insanely romantic and dramatic puppy/first-love type dating experience-I move to a different school-relationship falters-we break up-I move to America suddenly-I visit Korea/him a year later and we are still very much in puppy-love aaaand I can't get over him for jillions of years after until I met College Boyfriend. The end.
I need a break. This is too much for me to handle all at once. Go grab yourself a diet coke and a bag of popcorn and we'll rendez-vous in 10.
To be continued...
Cheers,
Cheryl
turned 23.
and feeling a world of a difference.
After a birthday passes, everyone always asks the same repetitive question: "Hey! So how does it feel to be __?" I've been asked this question several times now and have provided my interrogators with the same repetitive lie: "Same old! Not much different from 22!"
Again, I've lied.
To be quite honest (not so much with others, rather, with myself), I feel really really really different. I feel old. I feel young. I feel worn. I feel unworn. I feel tired. I feel excited. I feel happy. I feel like something's missing. I feel like I'm going to ride on the wings of my dreams and fly into infinity and beyond (sidenote: I really need to watch Toy Story 3) but I also feel l ike I am going to spin head first into the wallowing darkness of my fears.
But mostly, I feel "geubhae." In English, I guess this is best translated as, "rushed." I feel a great urgency to do something monumental at 23 years of age yet, I am still doing the same mediocre things. I mean, I can't say that I'm living a life of mediocrity because working and living in, unbiasedly, the most amazing city in the world is far from mediocrity, but maybe I am just not living this un-mediocre lifestyle to the fullest?
A lot has changed since the post I wrote when I turned 22. Unlike my 22nd birthday, I didn't celebrate and rage every day of the week. Instead, I was stressed out and running about trying to sublet my new apartment out before my move-in date. Unlike my 22nd birthday, I didn't plan a grand soiree and put on my fancy blue dress. I just had dinner and drinks with friends at our usual bar and wore black jeans. Unlike my 22nd birthday, I didn't hold my expectations high for the year to come, instead, I worried and fretted over how and why I will make the decisions I will make over the next 365 days until I can worry and fret again at age 24.
At age 23, one of my best friends is no longer living with me and is moving across the country to Utah. At age 23, I have friendships that are stronger, deeper, and delightfully more complex. At age 23, I am in a loving relationship that is healthy and blessed by the ones who really matter and care. At age 23, I am moving out of my full-service, luxury building with a doorman in the financial district, to a true blue NYC duplex apartment, complete with exposed brick, in a walk-up building located in the heart of the east village. At age 23, I have more goals and dreams than I have ever, ever, had. At age 23, I am more determined than ever to finish my early 20's with memories and moments that will not fail to make me proud when I look back on them. I pray to my dear Lord that all these things will not falter throughout the coming year, that I will have the wisdom, poise, and strength to carry out everything I've ever wanted to the fullest un-mediocrity.
Here's to 23!
Cheers,
Cheryl
After a birthday passes, everyone always asks the same repetitive question: "Hey! So how does it feel to be __?" I've been asked this question several times now and have provided my interrogators with the same repetitive lie: "Same old! Not much different from 22!"
Again, I've lied.
To be quite honest (not so much with others, rather, with myself), I feel really really really different. I feel old. I feel young. I feel worn. I feel unworn. I feel tired. I feel excited. I feel happy. I feel like something's missing. I feel like I'm going to ride on the wings of my dreams and fly into infinity and beyond (sidenote: I really need to watch Toy Story 3) but I also feel l ike I am going to spin head first into the wallowing darkness of my fears.
But mostly, I feel "geubhae." In English, I guess this is best translated as, "rushed." I feel a great urgency to do something monumental at 23 years of age yet, I am still doing the same mediocre things. I mean, I can't say that I'm living a life of mediocrity because working and living in, unbiasedly, the most amazing city in the world is far from mediocrity, but maybe I am just not living this un-mediocre lifestyle to the fullest?
A lot has changed since the post I wrote when I turned 22. Unlike my 22nd birthday, I didn't celebrate and rage every day of the week. Instead, I was stressed out and running about trying to sublet my new apartment out before my move-in date. Unlike my 22nd birthday, I didn't plan a grand soiree and put on my fancy blue dress. I just had dinner and drinks with friends at our usual bar and wore black jeans. Unlike my 22nd birthday, I didn't hold my expectations high for the year to come, instead, I worried and fretted over how and why I will make the decisions I will make over the next 365 days until I can worry and fret again at age 24.
At age 23, one of my best friends is no longer living with me and is moving across the country to Utah. At age 23, I have friendships that are stronger, deeper, and delightfully more complex. At age 23, I am in a loving relationship that is healthy and blessed by the ones who really matter and care. At age 23, I am moving out of my full-service, luxury building with a doorman in the financial district, to a true blue NYC duplex apartment, complete with exposed brick, in a walk-up building located in the heart of the east village. At age 23, I have more goals and dreams than I have ever, ever, had. At age 23, I am more determined than ever to finish my early 20's with memories and moments that will not fail to make me proud when I look back on them. I pray to my dear Lord that all these things will not falter throughout the coming year, that I will have the wisdom, poise, and strength to carry out everything I've ever wanted to the fullest un-mediocrity.
Here's to 23!
Cheers,
Cheryl
Friday, May 14, 2010
my younger self.
a strong sense of my younger self
is best found in past entries/posts/writings.
Have you ever looked back on a xanga? Or a diary entry? Whenever I do, I cringe and wince at how ridiculously ignorant and childish I was. Especially when I go back to things I wrote in middle school when tYpiNg lYk dIsS wuZ kEwL~*^^* Ugh, I shudder at the thought that I too, fell victim to that disgusting fad.
Earlier today, I took a gander at a homepage I had and opened up the diary entries I wrote in it. I wanted to laugh, kick myself in the head, and pat myself on the back all at the same time. I was SUCH a child. And some of these entries were written only about a year ago! Wow, look at how much I've developed in such a short period of time! I wonder if I'm going to look back on this blog and think the same thing in about a year...
Change is good though. Going through entries that dated back to 3-4 years ago was refreshing. Being able to revisit my past (no matter how ridiculous and embarrassing it may be) through old diaries is the best form of reflection, I think. The progress and process that I've experienced to become the person I am presently, was and is all beautiful.
I must remember not to regret and dwell on things I cannot go back and change, for I have changed into who I am today because of those things.
Cheers,
Cheryl
is best found in past entries/posts/writings.
Have you ever looked back on a xanga? Or a diary entry? Whenever I do, I cringe and wince at how ridiculously ignorant and childish I was. Especially when I go back to things I wrote in middle school when tYpiNg lYk dIsS wuZ kEwL~*^^* Ugh, I shudder at the thought that I too, fell victim to that disgusting fad.
Earlier today, I took a gander at a homepage I had and opened up the diary entries I wrote in it. I wanted to laugh, kick myself in the head, and pat myself on the back all at the same time. I was SUCH a child. And some of these entries were written only about a year ago! Wow, look at how much I've developed in such a short period of time! I wonder if I'm going to look back on this blog and think the same thing in about a year...
Change is good though. Going through entries that dated back to 3-4 years ago was refreshing. Being able to revisit my past (no matter how ridiculous and embarrassing it may be) through old diaries is the best form of reflection, I think. The progress and process that I've experienced to become the person I am presently, was and is all beautiful.
I must remember not to regret and dwell on things I cannot go back and change, for I have changed into who I am today because of those things.
Cheers,
Cheryl
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