quick thought #7

I keep blogging in bulk.

I need to stop binge-blogging and consistently blog on a daily basis.

quick thought #6

I, Cheryl H Kim, officially have my very first HATER! How exciting!

Perez Hilton has millions. An up and rising blogger has to start somewhere, eh? ;)

vivid dreams.

i wake up every morning
as though i dreamt a reality.

Anyone who knows the least about me knows that I am a deep-sleeper. I fall asleep very quickly and can sleep through just about anything. When I wake up in the morning, I usually feel as though my time spent sleeping was cut extremely short and I relish in the sweet minutes before my alarm goes off (granted, I wake up before it does). My point is, nothing can stop me from having a warm, snuggly, blissful night of zZz's--not even a nightmare. I sleep so deeply that I rarely have dreams and when I do, I don't really remember them the next morning. That's why I completely understand when people compare recalling a dream to cupping water with your hands. The more you try, the more it slowly disappears...

These days, however, I have been remembering every single detail of every single dream I have. It's weird that I'm remembering all these images so vividly but it's even stranger that I'm consistently having dreams every, single, night! For the past two weeks or so, I have dreamt wildly imaginative and realistic dreams whilst in my deep state of slumber. And I remember every stupid damn detail! Many people may think this is great and awesome and just fantastic; I did too, until yesterday. I thought it was an artistic gift from God that I was having such entertaining and eventful dreams that I was able to recall without hesitation, until a dream invaded my reality. Yesterday, I dreamt that I went home and my mom bought me this gorgeous bright green Prada wallet (wishful dreaming, eh?). So in my dream, I bbm'd my friend Lisa (who loves luxurious leather goods just about as much as I do) telling her all about this wallet and its immense beauty. In my dream, I told her I'd show it to her as soon as she got home from work. Then, I woke up and went about my day, thinking about how nice it would have been had my dream been real.

Later that night, as we were eating dinner and eagerly awaiting the next episode of Gossip Girl, I suddenly jumped out of my seat shouting, "oh!" My roommates, Lisa and Judy, looked at me with quizzical expressions on their faces. As I took a step into my room, I stopped. I realized... I HAD JUST JUMPED UP TO SHOW LISA MY NEW "WALLET!" And of course, this was virtually impossible since I had DREAMT up this wallet and it didn't really exist anywhere, least of all, in my room! I started cracking up, incredulous that I actually got out of my seat to go find and show to my roommates this wallet that didn't exist. When I told my roommates this... well, you can just imagine their reactions (especially if you know the two ladies in question).

Lisa: "Uhhh.....-.-... What's wrong with you..."
Judy: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA IDIOTTTTT! Stupid schwulllll!!!"

Such love up in 16G, I tell ya.

Anyway, when this particularly out of mind and body moment happened, I realized I needed to stop this excessive dreaming. I don't know why I've been dreaming so much and I further can't believe that I remember all my dreams to the point where I actually think them to be real. My dream world and real world have met and collided and made a fool of me; I can no longer let this happen. Craziness. Hey, but I'm kind of like a young, female, Asian Steven Spielberg. Maybe I should just start a company called 'Dreamworks 2' and make billions of dollars off producing movies out of my dreams.

Or maybe I should just take some Benadryl and try to sleep dreamless-ly tonight.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: Apparently, studies show that one dreams every single time they fall asleep. A dream-less night is actually scientifically impossible. We have them, but just don't remember them the next morning. Cool.

LOL!

the one thing that never fails to make me
Laugh Out Loud.

My mom always tells me that I was a silent and quite boring infant. While my brother and cousins giggled and cried and drooled and such, my mom describes me as having been wide-eyed and scream/tear-less. She and my daddy would try all sorts of things to make me laugh or smile but I never showed any signs of breaking from my expressionless "O.O" face. Finally, one day, when she had given up all hope of her first-born daughter ever cracking a smile, a miracle happened. She was doing laundry with me on her back and as she whipped open a wet towel from the wash to hang out to dry, infant Cheryl started cracking up. Amazed, my mom continued to pull clothes and towels from the wash, whipping them to hang. I cracked up each time she did so. Okay, see? I was strange from infant-hood; I can't help it people.

To this day, I don't find many things funny. My close friends are always telling me to stop fake-laughing or to stop giving people dirty looks when they try to be funny. I don't know what it is. I also just really don't see the humor in some of today's most popular comedy shows, movies, or jokes. Like Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn, The Office, and those dumb kids in Superbad? All un-amusing idiots.

I don't find towel-whipping funny anymore, either. I don't know what I was thinking back when I was nine-months-old; it's not that funny. You know what I DO find absolutely knee-slappingly hilarious, though? This is something that not many people know about me but I have always always always found this particular thing to be insanely funny. You know when people spin in circles? They spin and spin and spin and then they stop and try to walk in a straight line towards something and then their feet get all tangled and they fall and trip everywhere? I THINK THIS IS EFFING HILARIOUS!!! Omg, thinking about it right now is making my fingers twitch with glee while typing! SO FREAKING FUNNY!

Wooo-saaaaa... okay, I'm calm now. HAHAHA! Okay. Seriously, this is the ONE singular most thing that will never ever fail to crack me up. If I'm mad at you or upset about something, now you know what to do.

This post was actually originally supposed to be about the two things that make me laugh. Unfortunately, I drafted this post quite a while ago (today is actually the 29th of September, contrary to what this post says in its title) and completely forgot what the second thing is. I tried really hard to remember, but I just can't, so I'm assuming it's really not that funny and I'm over it now. Basically, I just think it's funny when people fall or trip or hurt themselves by accident while doing something dumb. Have you ever seen that Japanese show on SpikeTV? I'm not going to go into details, but those of you who know, you KNOW what I'm talking about right? Oh, it's also funny when Asian people can't speak English (check out engrish.com) and when people fake accents (punjabi style or otherwise). People who are funny without knowing they're being funny are great too. They're the best kind of people, in my opinion.

Damnit, I really wish I could remember what my second thing was. It was probably at least slightly amusing.

Cheers,

Cheryl

the little mermaid.

Ariel is my GIRL.

My favorite Disney movie and story is hands-down, The Little Mermaid. I read the original very sad Hans Christian Andersen version as well and I love that version too.

My reason for this random outburst is the fact that I came across THIS today:


If you know what it is, no words needed. If you don't know what it is, you have been deprived of a great deal of fun in your childhood. This game, and many others like it with different characters, was the ISH. Seriously, looking at it makes me smile and laugh and I want to play it right now. My friends make fun of me because I am absolutely horrid at video games, but I will PWN ANYONE at this game. I am seriously considering buying it on eBay right now. I can picture Ursula snarling at me daring me to do it from behind the game's screen already...

My mommy has a Precious Moments and Mickey & Minnie collectibles collection at home. I will start a Little Mermaid one when I am older. I seriously love The Little Mermaid. I was even Ariel for Halloween!


I mean c'mon. It really doesn't get more obsessive than this, does it? Haha. I absolutely love The Little Mermaid. Ariel is most definitely the coolest Disney princess of all time. And I totally do the best impression of Ursula. Ask me to do it for you next time.

Cheers,

Cheryl

life's too short.

we hear this all the time.
life's too short to this and that and the other.
today, life is too short to look just average.

A friend of mine told this to another friend of mine and she in turn, repeated this to me: "Life is too short to look just average." 'Tis true.

The friend who said this initially was spotted recently with significantly less fat and significantly more muscle and tone in his body. Boy, was I shocked! I guess he has really been living this saying out. Good for him, I wish I could do the same.

I've always been more than satisfied with my looks (as evident from my previous posts, haha). Recently however, my very own mother has been asking me if I wanted to get my nose done in Korea. My reaction was "Mommy, do you not think your daughter is pretty enough?" I was sad. I've never given any serious thought to plastic surgery and to think that my own mother thought I needed to go under the knife was depressing. I have many friends who have gotten double-eyelid surgery and nose surgery as well, but I've never wanted it. Now, I'm not so sure...

JUST KEEDING. After much thought, I have come to the realization that I am beautiful just the way God made me and I will never ever ever get any form of cosmetic surgery.

But, I WILL lose weight. Losing weight can make a world of a difference and my weight has yo-yo'd enough! I will lose 15 pounds and STAY 15 pounds lighter permanently. Perhaps my nose will appear sharper and my eyes bigger once I lose some damn weight. DAMN YOU, FAT! DAMN YOU, APPETITE! DAMN, YOU GOOD FOOD! DAMN YOU, LACK OF SELF-CONTROL!!!

"Life is too short to look just average." To this I say, "I am definitely looking a mile above average right now, but I don't want to live this short life looking anything less than my best." I am not at my best right now, folks.

To seeing myself 15 pounds lighter-

Cheers,

Cheryl

a teacher's grace.

the greatest thing i've learned
throughout 18 years of schooling.

In Korean, "a teacher's grace" sounds much cooler--"스승의은혜." The grace of a teacher, not grace like a ballerina, but grace as in gracious, is a concept I've come to realize with age. As an immature student, teachers were nothing more than a merciless provider of homework, exams, and grades. At age 22, my thoughts have changed tremendously.

I hope everyone agrees with me when I say that there exist very specific teachers who truly made a significant impact on my life. If not a significant impact, there has to be a teacher whom you can never forget, whether it be for negative or positive reasons. This post is intended to reveal teachers whom I've grown to respect because to this day, they have refused to be forgotten.

Out of the 40 possible teachers I've learned from during my 18 years of schooling, three teachers will remain in my memory as being the most influential. The first two are my homeroom teachers from my short time spent in Korea. As an American who didn't speak a sentence of Korean, I was plopped into a classroom full of real, live, breathing, native Korean students. Let's just say they didn't exactly welcome my Ralph Lauren-wearing, Jansport-carrying, dyed-hair swishing, American-ness with rice cakes and smiles. I wasn't fond of their "Sport Replay" shirts and wannabe "Gansport" backpacks either. I was a rebellious and frustrated 13 year-old who was confused and suffocated by her foreign surroundings. Until I met Choi Jin-Heung 선생님. My 중1 (7th grade) homeroom teacher was one of the sweetest, most genuine, kind-hearted Korean men I have ever met. He was strict when necessary, but didn't unfairly physically discipline his students like the other testosterone-driven Korean male teachers in my school. While his colleagues were beating the bejeezus out of their students, Choi Jin-Heung 선생님 was more creative and clever in his punishments. I still remember what he called the "새우눈" or "shrimp eyes." He would slightly pinch the sides of our eyes and twist them so they stung a little. The entire time he would chuckle at us squirm and cringe and we would feel better knowing he wasn't really angry--just trying to teach a lesson. I know it sounds horrible and you're probably thinking, "wtf?!" but the entire punishment was really a huge inside joke amongst the kids in our homeroom. Unlike the other homerooms and teachers, he would never hit us with wooden sticks until we bruised. He fully understood the chaos in my mind and helped in any and every way possible to ease my transition. I can't express enough how grateful I am to 최진흥 선생님. He will be the first person I find when I go back to Korea.

My 중2 homeroom teacher, Jung Seon-Soon 선생님 was also a sweet, sweet woman. Barely 5 feet, barely 100 pounds, barely a voice loud enough to carry over a room of 50 kids, and barely experienced enough to handle a new job in a new school. Our class was the first class she tackled as a teacher at our middle school. She was new to the school and in for a real treat. I still feel bad for the way we treated her and for the way we disrespected her. I didn't like her initially because she made a spectacle of me the first day of school. She asked my name, called me up to the front, and told everyone that this is exactly what NOT to look like at school. She beat me countless times, one time bruising my two thighs from hip to kneecap. We roughened her up, and she took it all in and roughened us up right back. I grew a newfound respect for this tiny teacher and she for me. She soon realized I wasn't failing classes because I was dumb or incompetent; I just didn't speak Korean. She soon realized my circumstance and sat me down and talked to me about my dreams and aspirations. I told her I was going to go back to America and go to NYU. That, I did. The day I got into NYU, I emailed her telling her I did it. We've been emailing ever since. Jung Seon-Soon 선생님 saw past my punk tough exterior and tried to understand me for who I was, who I used to be, and who I wanted to become. I was truly blessed during my short stay in Korea by having such beautiful people as homeroom teachers. Thank You, Lord.

Finally, Michelle Gannon. Everyone hated her because she thought she was perfect and too good to be teaching in a public high school. Kids thought she was pompous and failed to be a professor, therefore, taught high school classes like college courses. I loved her because she was challenging, tough, creative, innovative, and unlike any other teacher in our school. I appreciated her confidence and accredited her amazing teaching skills to her degrees from Princeton and Columbia. She was young, blonde, blue-eyed, and participated in triathlons. She wrote me an amazing recommendation letter for college and let me read it, telling me that she "never lets students read recommendation letters, but you're special." In the letter, she claimed that she hoped to have a daughter like me. I cried the day she left our school. Her face used to light up every time I walked into her classroom. She was the teacher who first helped me realize my gift with words. Ms. Gannon was in Japan somewhere the last time I heard. She is truly a remarkable person.

There you have it. A long drawn-out look into my past. 스승의은혜. A teacher's grace. I would've been a significantly different person had I not met the aforementioned teachers. Some people are meant to be teachers. These people strive to change lives. These 3 people actually have.

Cheers,

Cheryl

PS: I started this post back in the beginning of August but didn't finish and post it until now. That's why the date reads August 6th. Today is actually the 31st. Just didn't wanna confuse my faithful readers... :)